When was the last time you sat down and had a meaningful conversation with your partner regarding your financial goals and priorities?
Couples almost never agree on the definition of “financial security.”
Even the simple act of talking about what to do with money can cause conflict in relationships. Why? Because at the core of these discussions are deeply-held beliefs about the ‘value’ of money and what to do with it.
If you and your significant other are not on the same page when it comes to this subject then you need to address this now before it manifests into a major issue later down the line!
Everybody knows that money and finances are a major player in the list of reasons for the breakdown of a relationship.
It could be a dormant issue in your relationship for now – you both know it’s there, but neither of you want to acknowledge it until BOOM! It’s too late, you’ve had enough, and you can’t carry on like this any longer.
If you are ready to address the subject then consider the following word of caution before you begin to talk about it:
Do. Not. Have. This. Conversation…..
….at least, not until you are ready to really listen to what your spouse is saying.
When you hear, “I want to pay down the mortgage” or “I want to invest more” DO NOT immediately respond with X, Y, and Z reasons why you disagree.
Instead, take a minute to follow up with an exploratory question such as; “help me understand why that is important to you.”
These conversations are not easy. Very few of us were taught how to talk about money, let alone listen in a way that makes our partner feel comfortable.
Of course, it would be simpler if all our financial decisions fit into a spreadsheet or calculator. But they don’t!
I have found that when it comes to money, most people have an emotional rather than a logical relationship with it.
So, we need to get better at having these tough conversations, don’t we?
Here’s my advice for how to do this.
1- Set aside a specific time.
2- Turn off all phones. In fact, get them out of sight.
3- Ask your partner how they define financial security.
4- Listen! – I mean really listen!
5- Ask follow-up questions to get a better understanding of why they feel that way.
6- Listen! With the intention to learn something – NOT just with the intention to respond.
7- Switch. Now it’s your partner’s turn to listen.
If this isn’t a conversation you’ve already had with your partner, now would be a good time to instigate it.
Until next time…
If you are looking for someone to guarantee that they can get you better investment returns, then unfortunately I am not the Financial Adviser you are looking for. But if you are looking for a collaborative partner to help you and your family succeed financially, then hit me at planning@claritylfp.co.uk and let’s see if we get along!
Financial Planner | Financial Adviser | Investment Advice | Pension Advice | Insurance Advice | West Yorkshire
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